Not second prize to me

I know that I was disappointed when I first found out that the baby I am carrying is a boy. Wanted a girl - although, didn’t actually realise it until I was told for sure that I was having a boy. For two days a sulked about it. But, I am well over it now and I am excited about having another little boy. It will be wonderful for Cameron to have a brother. There will be a four-year age gap between them and the fact that they’ll both be the same gender somehow lessens this divide.

And, Cameron is so gorgeous! If his brother is as handsome, I will be known around town as the mom of “those two hot brothers”. We had a few of those boy-only families when I was growing up; those families of discerningly handsome sons. They were quite legendary some of them. They elicited an air of mystery. Countless girls used to obsessively ride their bikes passed their houses on the way home from school. We even had a pair of hotties that lived in our road.

So, although I get the occasional pang of desire to have a daughter to go shopping with and plan a wedding for, I am resolved that I am a boy mom. This is what God intended for us and I am happy about it.

I just wish everyone else would be too. Almost EVERY person I tell that I am having another boy is visibly disappointed for me. They dont even try to hide their own disappointment. Some have even gone as far as to say “oh shame”, some say “you’ve got your work cut out for you with two boys”, others keep asking if perhaps the doctor was wrong and that it could still be a girl and others say, “ag you’ll just have to try again” – like a girl is first prize and boy a consolation prize.

I know they probably don’t mean it and perhaps they are just saying these things because they expect me to be disappointed because they would be. But, it is starting to get up my nose. I would greatly appreciate some objectivity.

I have a son already and despite the normal challenges that come with raising any child – regardless of gender – he has been an absolute joy and pleasure. I wouldnt have him ANY OTHER WAY.

So, for me, and for Michael and for Cameron too, this little guy I am carrying is no second prize! He is first prize to us and we cant wait to get to know him.

I am the OROS lady

OK...now this weight gain issue is really starting to get me down. I got on the scale this morning and I am 2 kilos heavier than I was last Wednesday. How the f…k it happened I don’t know. Maybe its water retention – now that the weather is warming up. I do have a cankle (it’s my previously broken one though), so I do know that I am retaining water BUT STILL MAN!!!!

And the thing is I was actually feeling ok last week. I had only put on one kilo since my last antenatal check up the month before. Now this… and the injustice of it all is that I don’t even eat a lot. I am acutely aware of how the kilos can pack on in pregnancy. I was a house when I was pregnant with Cameron. I don’t want to be like that again and I have been extremely careful about what I eat. Yes a treat now and then but I am watching myself very carefully and I most certainly DO NOT east for two. And yet, here I am ballooning to epic proportions once again. I can just see that I am going to wack on in excess of 20 kilos just like last time.

It’s just so unfair. So many pregnant women I know just eat whatever they want – ice cream, cakes – you name it. And they put on ten kilos. I have already put on 12 and I still have three months to go.

Why does it always seem like I have to swim upstream? I try so hard and yet I put on the weight. Yes I know weight gain is inevitable in pregnancy and I am one of the unluckier ones. What I am most afraid of is that it won’t come off again when this is all over.

I feel like crawling into a hole.