Was it Friday the 13th by any chance?

This was my day yesterday...

06:30 – wake up with blocked nose and banging head ache (got flu again for the second time in three weeks)and get dressed.

07:30 – Give Cameron his breakfast – doesn’t want it in the bowl I have served it. Argument ensues and I switch off TV until he complies and eats out of the bowl I gave him

07:50 – On the way to school, Cameron moaning cos he doesn’t want to go today – says it is the weekend.

08:00 – arrive at school with radio on full blast (trying to drown sound of Cameron whining). I tell him to stop whining otherwise he cant watch Peter Pan tonight. Tells me he’s going to chop my arms off when he gets home. Get him in the school.

08:15 - Drive home already tired from altercations with Cameron.

12:30 – Go to pick up Cameron from school (no linga longa today for my sins). He wants to show me his tricks on the jungle gym and then on the trampoline. While I am watching him, he flies off the trampoline and lands on grass. Starts screaming – doesn’t usually do this when he hurts himself – usually to proud to make a scene. This time full performance. I realise something is wrong. Put him in the car – still crying. Ask him if he’s sore enough to go to the doctor – answer yes (now I really know something is wrong).

12:50 – Arrive at medicross. Wait for 40 mins to see doctor.

13:30 – See doctor – sends us for x-rays.

13:40 – in x-ray room, tell the woman I am pregnant. She tells me I cant go in with him. Cameron screaming cos doesn’t want to be held by her. Phone Michael come to the Medicross to go into the x-ray room with Cameron

14:15: Michael arrives at medicross. Tells me he’s parked next to my car and heard a hissing sound – discovered front right tyre is going flat fast.

14:30 – x-rays over and back in doctor’s room. Says no break but arm very swollen – a conocern. Suggests that there might be a green stick fracture that we cant see on x-ray. Advises that Cameron’s arm be put in a sling for a week. If not better in week, more x-rays.

14:45 - Michael goes to change tyre on car. Cameron and I go to casualty to get Cameron’s arm strapped up. Have to remove his jersey in this freezing weather otherwise wont be able to get it off later.

15:15 – get home from medicross and try to find clothes that will fit over the bandage. Only have two sleeveless vests and no jerseys big enough to fit over bandage. Reluctantly cut sleeve of one jersey and dress Cameron.

16:00 – Got to nearby shopping centre to buy some cheapie jerseys in a bigger size to fit over bandage. Reluctant to cuts sleeves off any other jerseys. Summer stock in. Could only find one. Will have to cut sleeves off his clothes after all.

If i didnt kow any better I would have thought it was friday the 13th

Marking Time

It’s almost been a week since my precious Gizzy left us. It hasn’t been the easiest week for me. Someone just needs to mention his name or I just need to see a photo of him and I start to cry.

After tomorrow, I will no longer be able to say that he was still here this time last week. I am getting further and further away from my baby dog. It is so unreal.

I found a website called Cybervets where you can post pet-related queries and a professional vet responds. So I wrote a long and detailed account of what had happened. See my mind was racing and running circles wondering whether there was more we could have done, whether the Dectomax (worm medicine) could have caused it and of course, whether I had made the right choice putting my beloved angel dog to sleep.

I received such a comprehensive, kind and compassionate response from the vet. He explained Yorkie Necrotising Encephalitis and Granulomatous Meningitis and their symptoms so thoroughly. He also explained that an abhorrent Spirocerca Lupi worm lodged in the spine or brain could also have caused Gizzy’s symptoms. He stressed that the Dectomax could not have caused his condition to slide as it did, which was a relief for me.

Whichever of the three possible diagnoses caused his demise I guess isn’t relevant since all of them – according to this vet – would have ended in a slow and painful death for my darling dog. He felt, like our vet felt, that putting Gizzy to sleep was all that was left to do. It was my final gift of love to my dog. This explanation and reassurance – for only R55 – has taken away some of the guilt I have been feeling and has given me a sense of relief that we did the right thing. This brings me some peace that is worth more that R1-million.

So here I am, marking time until the emptiness and huge sense of loss starts to dissipate. It just takes time I hear everyone say.

Gizzy, I will love you and miss you forever

My precious little dog, Gizzy, has been laid to rest. Saturday, 1 August was his last day. July was a long hard month for him too. I am heartbroken and I cannot stop crying. He was my precious baby dog. I cant sleep properly without him on my pillow. I used to roll over at night and feel for him. He was so soft and fluffy. He was always at my feet, followed me around like a little soldier. And that’s what he was right until the end.

Even on his last day, he tried not to show how horrible he felt and how un-coordinated he was. Like a little bambi, but instead of trying to walk on wobbly legs, he’d look up at me and beg me to pick him up, which of course I did. He spent almost the whole day of the last day of his life on my lap. He snuggled into me and I just held him and sat on the couch watching movies. Luckily it was a rainy day and we had no plans to go anywhere. I would never have forgiven myself if we had been out all day. I am so glad that I was there for him on his last day.

By the evening, he couldn’t really balance and had hardly eaten or drank anything the whole day. While he was sitting on my lap, he was making a laboured whimpering noise, which was exaggerated when I moved him. I don’t know if he was in pain but I think so. Then he wanted to go to Michael so I put him on Michael’s lap and I was in my office when he came in saying we needed to get Gizzy to the vet. He was whimpering quite loudly and he didn’t look good. When Michael put him on the floor because he thought he wanted to go outside for a wee, his little legs could hardly hold him up. They kept sliding apart.

So we rushed to the vet. It was just after 17:00. I had him wrapped in a towel. He was so small. He didn’t even try to move while we drove – usually he is all over the place in the car. I kept telling him that I love him very much.

When the vet saw his condition, she said it looked like his balance and coordination was off. The meningitis that he had was an inflammatory disease that affects the nervous system. Basically, his brain could not send messages to the rest of his body. He was uncoordinated and confused. His eyes looked lifeless. He just stared blandly in front of him. At the same time, it looked like he had had a fright. It broke my heart to see him like that.

She said that we had done everything that we could for him. He obviously had the type of meningitis that cannot be treated because even though he was on corticosteroids, his condition was deteriorating. There is no other treatment for the disease and he was on a heavy dose as it was. She advised that we put him to sleep.

Michael stayed with Cameron in the reception and I stayed with Gizzy. The vet took his tiny paw and administered the injection. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and told him I loved him. I kept my hand on his little body until she said he was gone. I didn’t even realise when he’d breathed his last. He still looked exactly the same. I put my face into his fluffy neck. I wanted to smell him one last time but my nose was so blocked from crying I couldn’t smell anything. I closed his eyes. She wrapped him in a blanket and that was it – all over.

My heart is broken into a million pieces. I loved that dog like I have NEVER loved another animal in my life. I don’t know how I will ever get over this. I am lost without him at my feet. I miss the way he used to dance in circles when I arrived home from being out somewhere. He was the most perfect yorkie I have ever seen. I cant stop crying. How will I ever get over this?