Marking Time

It’s almost been a week since my precious Gizzy left us. It hasn’t been the easiest week for me. Someone just needs to mention his name or I just need to see a photo of him and I start to cry.

After tomorrow, I will no longer be able to say that he was still here this time last week. I am getting further and further away from my baby dog. It is so unreal.

I found a website called Cybervets where you can post pet-related queries and a professional vet responds. So I wrote a long and detailed account of what had happened. See my mind was racing and running circles wondering whether there was more we could have done, whether the Dectomax (worm medicine) could have caused it and of course, whether I had made the right choice putting my beloved angel dog to sleep.

I received such a comprehensive, kind and compassionate response from the vet. He explained Yorkie Necrotising Encephalitis and Granulomatous Meningitis and their symptoms so thoroughly. He also explained that an abhorrent Spirocerca Lupi worm lodged in the spine or brain could also have caused Gizzy’s symptoms. He stressed that the Dectomax could not have caused his condition to slide as it did, which was a relief for me.

Whichever of the three possible diagnoses caused his demise I guess isn’t relevant since all of them – according to this vet – would have ended in a slow and painful death for my darling dog. He felt, like our vet felt, that putting Gizzy to sleep was all that was left to do. It was my final gift of love to my dog. This explanation and reassurance – for only R55 – has taken away some of the guilt I have been feeling and has given me a sense of relief that we did the right thing. This brings me some peace that is worth more that R1-million.

So here I am, marking time until the emptiness and huge sense of loss starts to dissipate. It just takes time I hear everyone say.